I Have What I Wanted: An Exercise
November is symbolic as the month of thankfulness, but for many small business owners, it is the month of hustle. For consumers, it is the month of buying what we want for ourselves and others at a deal. It all centers around things. Specifically, things we want.
I am not about to say that we shouldn’t ‘want’, be consumers, or go after ‘things’. I am about to share a way to be intentional about these things and this time of year as we focus on the new that we want to bring into our lives.
This is an exercise borrowed from the Stacy Westfall Podcast. I cannot for the life of me find the episode, but when I do, I will link it!
Here is the jist. Write out a list of what you want and skip a line between each item of the wishlist. You can do this verbally with kids and even toddlers. Then go back, and for every new thing you want, think of something that may have been on this sort of list(had you made one) a year or more ago that you wanted and have now.
We will dive in, and I will explain more as we go and use myself as an example. The italic line is what I wanted and now have.
Here is my list:
Another horse
An arena
A custom breast collar to match my saddle
A horse trailer
New Kyrgie Slippers
Leather and sheepskin boots
Pendelton Wool Blanket for our King-sized Bed
A handmade quilt for the non-toxic king bed(two wants I have!)
The ‘have’ doesn’t have to relate to the ‘want’ at all. You can do as many or as few as you like. This was a list I made when I couldn’t sleep at 3 am thanks to Hand Foot and Mouth my fam lovingly shared with me, haha.
The point is not to shame yourself. The point is to build perspective and create thankfulness. It also shows that over time, these things you may want badly but know you cannot have now will come. Life unfolds as we live it. These things may come to us in mysterious ways or just once we’ve earned or finally actually prioritized them.
When I originally made my list as I listened to her podcast, what I truly desired were not things!
Time with my horses and so desperately a trail ride
Two broke horses that are always there waiting and ready for me
To be the best parent that I want to be but am too overstimulated to be
Access to my kids 24/7 to be their parent
Time with Nathaniel, friends, and myself
Time as a family
I realized that I want things, yes. Don’t get me wrong! I am a total consumer, but what I truly desire are not things; it is time to and ability to be me! Time to regulate myself doing the things I love in a stable(pun absolutely intended) environment and make connections with people I love that enrich me, so that I can be a highly functioning parent for my kids.
Society is pressuring us to be consumers. We have entered the season where the triggers are all around us. As an adult, you probably don’t write out your wishlist. It is easy to click buy for yourself. But maybe take a little time to ask yourself—what do you desire? Write what comes down, which might be things, experiences, or end up being matters that are much more dear to your heart that don’t come with a price tag.
Reflect on that. What a unique way to reflect on yourself. Stretch yourself to think of other things you wanted so badly and have now, and let that fill you with thankfulness. Hopefully, it will relieve some of the urgency forced on us during this season.
After completing this exercise, I feel the pressure to figure out how to get what I desire that is less tangible, requiring that time & ability. I am reminding myself that this exercise really is for awareness rather than action. Making this list of wants or desires doesn’t equate to a shopping list or need to lead to a calendar scheduling frenzy. I can sit with this knowledge as long as I need to; knowing what I truly desire will help me start to reprioritize and manifest to make that time that I need happen more often for myself.
Perspective is so valuable; we get it from being in a place of rational, constructive thinking that allows us to be intentional. The more we practice intention, the more it becomes instinctive behavior and the more present we live for ourselves and our family.
What did you come up with? Please share in the comments below!
